


Aftershocks

by Stardust_and_Strawberries



Category: Marvel 616
Genre: Angst, Body Horror, F/M, Hurt, Loki is a straight-up bad guy here, Possession, Ragnarok, Trauma, canon compliant for once, dealing with the aftermath of something very like sexual assault, heads up for people who don't like that, non con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 14:31:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8717593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stardust_and_Strawberries/pseuds/Stardust_and_Strawberries
Summary: Beta Ray Bill is reunited with Sif after she has been restored to her body which was being possessed by Loki. She struggles to deal with the trauma of the incident.Takes place shortly before Sif (1) 2012.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I usually write funny fluffy stuff, and this is very different to that so be aware if that was what you came here for. This deals with feelings of powerless and violation after something very like a sexual assault.

Bill wrapped his arms around her holding her tight to his body. Whimpering softly he snuffled at every inch of exposed skin, checking for injuries. She knew he wouldn't find any physical damage.

Loki had always been careful to protect his own skin, even when that skin was borrowed.

His nuzzling was gentle, his arms were warm. She could feel the immovable strength of them whilst knowing to the core of her being that that strength would never be used to hurt her. Loki had shown her to be powerless to protect herself so why not give up the pretence, allow him do what he had wanted to since they first met and do it for her? It was what he was born to do, built to do, had freely chosen to do a thousand times, something he had to strength for, strength she had been so clearly shown to lack.

Sif squeezed her eyes shut, willing back tears. She couldn't give in now. Her body had already been taken from her. If she gave up her spirit too what would be left of her?

Once Loki had left her body it had reverted to its natural form, but she had seen the images. He had stretched her flesh out in some places, drawn it in in others, reshaping her to suit his whims. Had he done it dispassionately, out of expediency to conceal the monstrous thing he had done? She pictured him (she had pictures him so many times, though she tried not to) standing before a looking glass, wearing her naked form like a trophy. Did he consider it dispassionately, like a tailor evaluating his cloth or an armourer her steel? Or worse, far worse, did he do it with relish, enjoying himself as he sculpted her to suit his tastes?

Did he touch her with her own hands?

She had told herself it was lucky that she hadn't been aware of him, but surely the reality couldn't be worse than her own imagination.

The body had been a travesty but the face had been worse. She had only been able to look at the image, horrified to see the imprint of her familiar features stretched and distorted over Loki's own. How had they not recognised her? How had they not known?

"If I had just seen him..." said Bill, unconsciously echoing her thoughts.

"You would not have realised. No one else did."

Bill shook his massive head violently. "I think he avoided me deliberately. It makes me wonder if he knew I would have known you. Perhaps he couldn't disguise your scent, or he knew some other senses I have... I should have been more suspicious."

Tentatively Sif ran a hand along his jaw. "You were busy. Everyone was." Fighting battles they had not needed her for.

"What he did to you was appalling. If we could have stopped him sooner..."

"But you couldn't. No one could." I couldn't, she added in the privacy of her own mind.

Bill released her and stood up to his full height. Even controlled his rage set sparks dancing over his skin, and when he spoke his voice shook the pillars of the hall.

"I will destroy him Sif. This I swear to you. Odin has been good to me but I would set aside all oaths of kinship to avenge what that worm Loki did to you."

For a moment the old anger kindled. Who was he to claim her battles? But then her doubts reasserted themselves. Was he not right? Had Loki not shown her to be powerless against him? Could she truly still believe she was capable of protecting herself when Loki had shown that her very body was only hers to command until he wanted it? 

It would be so easy to sink into Bill's arms, to let him protect her, unleash the full terrifying force of his power and destroy Loki for her, sear the very flesh from his bones with the icy fire of lightning then, roaring, smash those bones to powder.

It was a seductive image.

But nothing could erase the fact that Loki had done this to her, and she had been powerless to prevent it.

No.

She couldn't be another drain on Bill, another burden he had failed to protect. It would destroy him and destroy her too. She drew a breath.

"He took all I am, and now you would take my vengeance too?"

She had expected Bill to rage at her but instead he slumped, all the furious power that had animated him a moment ago dissipating into despondency.

"Never Sif. Sif, Sif, my brave, beautiful Sif, I'm so sorry. I never wanted to take anything from you, I just wanted to protect you. And I couldn't. I'm so, so sorry."

This was worse than anger, so much worse. Loki had broken her, she couldn't let him break Bill too.

"Leave me alone then! I heard you found another Korbinite, go and protect her! I don't need you!" 

Sif shouted, charging from the hall. She drew her sword and sliced blindly at the fabric of reality, darted through the tear heedless of her destination. She refused to give herself time to look back and see if he had followed her out of the the hall.

She refused to admit that she hoped he had.


End file.
